Last night I dreamed of Viking Maude again.
I sailed between her legs as music played.
She spared me nothing, whipped me with her braid,
And every split she did was seven-ten.
Last night I dreamed that Bunny gave me head.
Her eyeliner was axle grease and soot.
I sucked her toe (it wasn’t on her foot)
While she took seven quarterbacks to bed. Last night I dreamed The Jesus took me clubbing.
We danced with party girls till just past dawn.
He got the ugly duckling, me the swan,
And then we bowled and he gave me a drubbing.
Last night I dreamed that Walter punched my face
Because I asked him if he liked Debussy.
He spit and said I was a fucking pussy
And then he hit me with a fucking mace.
Tonight I think I’ll dream of all of them.
I’ll text STFU to poor doomed Donny,
Tell Brandt that he’s a walking port-o-johnny,
Throw all The Nihilists an M&M,
And drink pint-glass White Russians with The Dude
Who’ll ask me “Why?” each time I say “Because,”
And I’ll perceive twelve universal laws
While basking in the glory of his ‘tude.
copyright 2009 Matthew J Wells