Indiana Jones and the Temple of "It Isn't Dull"

From the blatantly obvious overdubbing of Harrison Ford's voice in the first ten minutes of the movie, through the total absence of that Spielberg touch in the direction, to the jokeless script that plays like it was cobbled together from six differently-authored drafts and then mixed in a National Treasure blender, this is the first 100% George Lucas Indiana Jones movie, which means (like the last 3 Star Wars episodes) it is by the numbers, joyless, and deadeningly earnest.

Was I bored? No. Was I excited? No. Did I laugh? Not even once. And you know me -- I howl at clever music cues. Is it as good as Iron Man? Not even close. Is it as good as the first three Indiana Jones movies? God no, and anybody who ranks this even above Temple of Doom is on crack, okay? Is it better than the last three Star Wars movies? Hell yes, and maybe that’s why it’s getting all these sigh-of-relief positive reviews. Because it really does feel more Lucas than Spielberg, which means it could have been a dog’s breakfast on a very pretty CGI plate.

A couple of comparisons and a burning question:

You know how in the original Star Trek there’s loud cheesy horn music everywhere because you’re watching a fun melodrama, but in Star Trek: The Next Generation there are all these muted strings under everything because this is DRAMA Goddammit and we’re taking this VERY SERIOUSLY, OKAY? I got the same message here: this isn't fun, folks -- the 40's were fun, okay? But not the 50's.

And not the 60's either, as in a bunch of 60-year-old guys getting together and instead of saying, “Let’s do something based on the serials we saw when we were kids,” they say, “Well, we had fun doing this serial-based kind of movie once, so why don’t we try to make one like that movie again?” In other words, Crystal Skull is a Xerox of a Xerox, which gives it the comfortable but recycled air of later Roger Moore James Bond movies like A View To A Kill.

And isn’t there anybody in LA with the balls to tell George Lucas that the phrase “I have a ba-a-a-ad feeling about this,” is not a fucking laugh line?

Why I'm Dreading Indy 4

It's this poster:

It's all over New York, so it's the primary image you're being programmed with when you think of the picture. And the reason it bothers me is because it shows Indy running. Which translates as: "Yes, we know Harrison Ford is long in the tooth, so we're going to prove he's still an action star by showing you he can run."

Look at the posters for the four movies in chronological order. In the first he's just standing there; in the second there's a tiny insert of him fighting. But it's the third and fourth where the subliminals start creeping in.













In the third poster? He's riding a horse. Subliminal message: Harrison needs a little help here. He's also pointing his gun straight ahead, which means he's not riding away from anything (despite all the riders and cars and tanks chasing him) but riding towards something, riding into battle.

In the current poster? He's running away--being chased by natives and running away. No other way to look at it.

I don't know about you, but that combination (See? He can run! And he's running away!) is making me look forward to this movie with what you might call wariness.