Monday, March 10, 2008

Weekend Update

Don't try this at home.

Twelve things you should never do on the night you turn the clocks ahead for daylight savings time.

1. Don’t head out to Williamsburg via the L Train from 14th when there are no trains running for 90 minutes between 9 PM and 10:30.

2. Don’t bring only one six-pack of Bass Ale. It’ll disappear in ten minutes, leaving you to drink Bud for the rest of the night.

3. Don’t stare at the cute brunette. She is not thinking of you.

4. Don’t stay up with host and hostess after everyone has left and watch them turn the kitchen clock from 3:30 to 4:30 AM.

5. Don’t start Google Chatting with Ava in Australia when you get home at 6:30 AM.

6. Don’t take a shower at 8 and then try to take a nap. You'll just lie there with back pain for 30 minutes.

7. Don’t go out and coffee shop write from 9 to 11.

8. Don’t eat lunch. If you eat lunch, your stomach will say: "I'm shutting everything else down to digest this. See you in three hours." Instead of lunch, drink two Pepsis.

9. Don’t download party pictures from 12 to 2 while you type up what you wrote from 9 to 11.

10. Don’t watch Hour of the Gun, it’ll put you to sleep.

11. Don’t go out for a burger at Stand and have two porters.

12 Don’t go to bed at 10 and get 7 hours sleep (4 uninterrupted, 3 waking up every 25 minutes).

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