Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Barking Matthew

Barking Matthew is the guy who sends the sarcastic e-mail reply instead of waiting ten minutes and sending the professional e-mail reply. Barking Matthew is the guy who gets totally irked by the fact that “professional” means “putting up with morons and a-holes.” Barking Matthew is the guy who blows his top when people at work ask the same question three times in a row, even though he’s already sent them the answer twice already. Barking Matthew is the guy who goes postal because the corporate definition of Teamwork reads, “Teamwork, n. Where the same three people plan the play, carry the ball, take the hit, recover the fumble, score the touchdown, edit the mistakes out of the touchdown, and watch on the sidelines when all the other players congratulate themselves.” Barking Matthew is the head-down shoulder-hunched embryo-Scrooge who stomps through Manhattan talking to himself about a job that doesn’t matter and an agent who doesn’t get him. Barking Matthew is me a lot more than I’d like to admit these days.

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