1. Put on the shirt you wore last New Year’s Eve and realize it doesn’t fit.
2. Text the girl you have a crush on and check your phone every ten minutes for a response that never comes.
3. Check Facebook on 1/1 and see New Year’s Eve party pictures of the girl you have a crush on with her arms around some stupid guy who could be your twin brother.
4. Go through last year’s list of things to do and break a calculator trying to add up all the ones that never got done.
5. Pick up Murphy by Samuel Beckett and after reading the first sentence (“The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new.”) use the book as kindling.