Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Panic of '08: Know Your Clichés!

(with apologies to Flann O'Brien)

What is the nature of the financial crisis?
It is serious.
What manner of action must be taken?
Of what vegetative undergrowth is the provocation which must be addressed as part of this action?
The root cause.
What form of hydration will occur to lending if the root cause is not addressed?
It will dry up.
What game piece always describes the effect of this?
A domino.
What is the quality of perturbation in regard to the assets in question?
In what equestrian condition are holders of troubled assets?
What is the temporal nature of obligations?
They are immediate.
What is the condition of every collapse?
How dispersed is loss of confidence?
What vertical position describes the government’s economic experts?
What is the duration and disease symptom of a recession?
Long and painful.
What must be done to financial security?
It must be safeguarded.
What movement is required of elected officials when they approach an occasion?
They will rise to it.
What activating principle governs cooperation?
A spirit.
What defensive sports maneuver is applied to problems?
In what direction does this activity take place?
What is the level of dependability in regard to the fundamentals of our economy?
What are the rare and sporadic occurrences of abuse in the system?
What is the goal of all abusers of the system?
Personal gain.
What pleonasm always describes this goal?
Their own.
What condition of external recreation is this cliché gag?
Played out.

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