You're All Going To Our Hell

In case you've been wondering where you're going to be spending eternity, the Führer Pope has decreed that if you ain't RC, you're SOL.

Based on a retcon of the Reformation that then-Cardinal Ratzinger produced for Crisis on Infinite Churches the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, the document is the first step in the Vatican's three-part plan to protect its brand by patenting The Cross, marketing Salvation™, and copyrighting the word Church.