Last week I had the following e-mail exchange with a friend of mine who recently moved down to DC.
ME:So did you go to the mall on the 4th? Or did you watch it from the safety of a bar/your living room/Maryland?
SG: Hey! Hope you had a great 4th! Were you in MA? I was actually with my sister and brother in-law in AC, first time for me.
ME: Yes, I was in Massachusetts, at the family beach cottage. It rained so much that it qualified as an audition for the part of Aquaman. Of the six days I was there, only one had more than 90 minutes of sunshine -- the 4th. I spent it on the beach getting roasted.
SG: Sorry to hear about the vacay...weather has been very funny this summer. :(
ME: It really has. If I didn't know any better, I would say it had something to do with the climate. But that's just silly.
SG: Tough to say...funny thing about weather (which everyone tends to forget) is that it is predictably unpredictable.
ME: It's even more unreliable than boys.
SG: Let's not get crazy now. Boys are wayyyyyyyy more unreliable. Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyyyyyyy more.
ME: [because I have to have the last word, always] You're right, of course. If the weather was boys? We'd be in the middle of an ice age.
That got me to thinking. Webster's defines "weather" as "the physical manifestation of the atmosphere at a particular time and place, with regard to temperature, moisture, cloudiness, etc." In the ideal dictionary, wouldn't Webster's define "boy" as "the physical manifestation of maleness at a particular time and place, with regard to emotional and intellectual activity"?
Makes sense to me. And if it ever did come to pass, then we'd be seeing things like this in our online newspapers: