From various bar conversations in the last few days:
Just because there's a masculine and a feminine in a relationship, that doesn't mean there's a male and a female.
When you're seeing Mr. Right, Life will always send you Mr. Totally Bad For You as a test. But it will never send you Mr. Right as a test when you're with Mr. Totally Bad For You.
If you've been flying constantly for the last month, and you get an odd pain in your lower leg, see a doctor immediately. And whatever you do, don't get a massage.
There's nothing quite as terrifying as trying to describe a work of art when one if its co-creators is sitting next to you.
Texting and e-mailing are and always will be allergic to irony. If you're making a joke in a text or an e-mail, don't forget to use a smiley.
Attractions that never lose their spark and excitement are always about unfinished business.
Take naps whenever possible.
If you want your marriage and the last 20 years of your life to disappear, a deal with the devil works best.