Throwing Down The Gauntlet: Three Songs for Billy Collins

The poem Nightclub by Billy Collins starts out like this:

You are so beautiful and I am a fool
to be in love with you
is a theme that keeps coming up
in songs and poems.
There seems to be no room for variation.

I have never heard anyone sing
I am so beautiful
and you are a fool to be in love with me,
even though this notion has surely
crossed the minds of women and men alike.

You are so beautiful, too bad you are a fool
is another one you don't hear.

Or, you are a fool to consider me beautiful.
That one you will never hear, guaranteed.

Well, not any more. My mission (which I have decided to accept) is to write three songs based on those themes: (1) I am so beautiful and you are such a fool to love me; (2) You are so beautiful (too bad you're such a fool); and (3) God what a fool you are to think I'm beautiful. Check back next week to see the results.