- First show of the day? Check.
- Trailer for next Nicolas Cage bomb (National Treasure 2)? Check.
- Kid talking throughout movie? Check.
- Really jarring concentration camp visual echo in first two minutes? Check.
- Nature of visual echo? Ten-foot-high pile of boots from hanged pirates.
- Two comic-relief pirates just as unfunny as two comic-relief robots in Star Wars? Check.
- Keira Knightley's chin just as big as I remember? Check.
- Plot totally confusing even though I've seen both previous movies? Check.
- Ship-sailing-on-stars echo from Baron Munchausen? Check.
- Being John Malkovich echo? Check.
- The Good The Bad and The Ugly echo? Check.
- Complete with spaghetti western guitar score? Double check.
- Johnny Depp gets to say the words "feculent maggots?" Check.
- Dog with keys has cameo appearance? Check.
- Keith Richards plays guitar at crucial plot moment? Check.
- Great cookie after the credits are finished? Check.
- Weirdest WTF credit ever? Check.
- Text of weirdest WTF credit ever: I didn't see the beginning of it, but I swear to Davy Jones that right at the end of the crawl there's this credit:
[Something] from "The Time of Your Life,"' by William Saroyan.
Used by permission.