The eternal scapegrace

Each time I make the tiniest mistake,

   I’m filled with terror that my shameful guilt
Condemns me to be shunned more than the snake
   Lucifer turned into.  And that’s the hilt
Of it—the blade goes twenty times as deep,
   Down to the particles below my quarks,
Till all the molecules inside me weep
   Because my soul is riddled with  black marks.
You guessed it—I’m a Catholic boy—redeemed
   From sin (but not for joy), to quote Jim Carroll;
And when I mess up, I know I’ll get reamed
   ‘Cause I’m the baddest apple in the barrel.
      And that’s the cause (to my eternal shame)
      Why I deserve not mercy, but the blame.

Copyright 2013 Matthew J Wells